20 things that made me feel more like "me" again after giving birth
I was that girl who spent hours in front of the mirror to ensure I looked my fabulous best every time I stepped out of the house.
I was that girl who would spend endless hours with my head buried in a book, only to come up for air and food.
I was that girl who went on a shopping spree to make myself feel better if I’d had a minor mishap during the day.
Notice the use of the word ‘was’? Past tense because my present has been all about bringing up my baby. Ask any new mom and she’ll tell you that motherhood has stripped her of a huge chunk of her former personality. She will reminisce those care-free days. But what if I told you that losing yourself will not just harm you, but also your baby? If you want to acquaint your baby with the fun and spontaneous woman you were before, you need her to make an appearance, stat!
I didn’t want my baby to remember me as a tired, overworked mother with no hobbies or passion for life. So here are the 20 things I did to reclaim a bit of the old ‘me’. Feel free to take a leaf – or 20 – out of my book.
1. My baby was taking baby steps, and so was I. I started by stealing as much time for myself during the day as I could. And I used this time for myself – no house chores, no office work, no baby duties. Just good ol’ ‘me’ time.
2. I demanded that my husband and I step out for a dinner date once a week – sans baby.
3. I met friends. I gossiped. I had regular conversations that did not revolve around poop and spit-ups.
4. Once in every year, I took a 2-day trip – either by myself or with my husband. Either way, I was rejuvenated and excited to get back to my baby after those trips.
5. Don’t underestimate the power of morning walks. Or evening walks. Take your baby in the pram with you if you have to.
6. I made it a point to get out of my oversized pjs and tees. I shopped for myself again, for the size that I am now. Even though I would always inevitably end up buying something for my baby too.
7. I decided to work out – even if just for 15 minutes a day. It was more about feeling better about myself than trying to get into shape.
8. It was time for spa days and manicures again. I scheduled an appointment for either or both without fail once a month.
9. Surprisingly, eating right made me happy. Of course, the occasional indulgence in my favourite pepperoni pizza was inevitable. But by and large I kept my diet as clean and green as I could.
10. I asked for help. From my parents, his parents, our friends – anyone who was happily willing to take on baby duties for an hour or two.
11. Doing home and baby chores with my husband calmed my nerves. It also made me relieved that the load of the world wasn’t resting on my shoulders alone.
12. I openly spoke about feeling overwhelmed with fellow new mommies. Those conversations lightened my heart and seemed to put me in a better mood.
13. I got back to reading. Of course, I still didn’t have time for books, but I read blogs online that piqued my interest.
14. Don’t brush up postpartum or breastfeeding pain as normal. Seeking help from lactation consultants, physiotherapists and chiropractors was money well spent.
15. I got a haircut. It’s true, a haircut can give you a whole new perspective towards life!
16. I allowed myself to do nothing. When I got overwhelmed, I laid in bed, passed on all my duties to hubby dearest and didn’t move a muscle till I started to feel better.
17. I went out for a bite. Alone. Felt like grabbing a double cheese burger without the incessant crying of my child. I took the car keys and drove off into the sunset.
18. I love writing. I had a professional career in writing before my baby so I started taking up freelance projects at my pace to regain a little of my financial independence.
19. When my baby was up and in the mood, we danced. We put music on full-blast and cracked some killer moves. At first, it was just for fun because I love dancing. Now, it is a ritual between baby and me.
20. I took a shower. I cried in the shower, I laughed in the shower. The steaming hot showers helped me clear my head and get a few moments of peace.
If I had to summarise everything I just said, it would be: practice self-care shamelessly. Even if that means sometimes putting your needs above those of your husband and child. After all, babies emulate what they see. If they see a tired and overworked human, that’s who they’ll be. Give them the opportunity to meet the fun, kind, and positive version of you.
